Friday, 28 November 2014


Falling in love with waking up to crisp white sheets that felt cool against my skin and a view of Istanbul's grey, blue and white buildings, towers and domes from the ceiling-to-floor window wasn't hard. The 'smell' of the city wasn't hard to get used to. I liked the cool wind brushing against my face, tousling my hair. I liked the cold that would creep up my bones and the cigarette smoke mixed in the air. Walking down Istikhlal street didn't feel alien to me, it felt like home although I had never experienced walking down a street with people coming from every direction, wearing leather jackets and tall boots. The unintentional playlist created there replays in my head all. the. time. The rides back home to the hotel were comforting, the glittering buildings and mosques rolled past me as I looked out. A certain pair of green eyes will never be forgotten by me, the way they glistened, the way they were so lively, with dancing pupils. Certain hugs and certain pictures and certain smiles are forever embossed in my mind. Everything was new but everything was so perfect, even though the city itself has so many imperfections. Those flaws don't bother me because I reminisce despite them. I loved walking everywhere, to the mall, outside the mall, to cafes, on shopping streets, in little quaint towns on islands-because although I would walk alone I felt like I belonged to stride on these streets seeing unfamiliar pass by, some of them stopping to talk. When I was alone, I didn't feel alone. I felt..right.
I lived for crazy dance parties that would take place in our hotel rooms, sneaking up to the roof to take in the cold weather, for the slight drizzle that would always take place. For the breakfast brunches every morning, getting ready with absolutely crazy people every morning, for taking it all in.
Breathing became easier there. Living independently became possible. Falling in love and seeing the goodness in people became possible. Tears still escape my scrunched up eyes when I think about it, my heart still physically aches.
Istanbul, 2014.
Not the end. Just the beginning.

Istanbul playlist: Animals by Maroon 5
                        Cool kids by Echosmith
                        Centuries by Fall Out Boy
                        Happy Little Pill by Troy Sivan
                       A sky full of stars by One Republic
                       Everything by Bastille, ever.