Little girl things to big girl things

And it's finally summer guys! I cannot express how much I have loathed the past one and a half months-these board exams have taken such a toll on everything, my hair, my skin, me weight, my mental state...I could just go on and on, but I'm not going to because why hold on to the past? It's over with for now, I can worry about my result when it comes in August, I'll have a whole month designated to mourn and let my anxiety take over. Oh, how fun.

   You know how during school years and any exam period we daydream about having possibly the craziest, wildest and most productive summer imaginable and then when the time comes we end up completely wasting those precious months of freedom? Yes, I’m a great example of this-a master procrastinator and professional time waster are the titles I prefer. This strange creature, called Maham thrives on the couch and spends her time consuming TV show after TV show, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Ha.

But this year, I have the strongest feeling that this will not be the case. I feel like this is mainly due to the fact that I have never been this aware of my position in the world, and the fact that I have two years before university and I can’t waste anymore time. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to pile on internship after internship, because at the same time I’ve realized that (the following is going to be really dramatic) I really want to just be happy. Only do things that make me happy and give me pleasure and don’t stress me out so much. I want to feel completely aware of the fact that I’m alive. I’m well and alive. I want to live a life that I want to live, completely change up my lifestyle and take pleasure in simpler things as well. I started off summer by a little self care-I got my hair dyed! It’s making me so incredibly happy, I feel like it’s a move from little girl things to big girl things, and it makes me feel grown up, and powerful and happy. I got hi-lites and some lo-lites put in, in honey blonde and caramel. It’s a very subtle dye job as I just wanted my hair to look sun-kissed. A makeover to start summer feels absolutely incredible, and I feel like I can take on this summer now, and do everything that I have planned for it. No more TV shows, no more wasting time. More reading, more photography, more working out and eating well, more fresh air through breezy evening walks, wearing more colour, more self care by buying myself flowers and writing little motivational notes to myself, more time spent on doing things I love, more time sent being only with the people I love. It’s a fresh new start people, and you should join me in this fresh new start.